TV Sexcellence?

The issue is still being raised as to whether there is too much gratuitous sex on TV. Does sex for the sake of sex (meaning 'to get people to watch') morally destroying us?

I have to say this is a case of good and bad art. A bad film does not become better art by having a well-hung handyman with a stiff dick banging about the screen. it might make better watching, though.

But does this make the film morally bankrupt? Some would argue that this is exploitative of the actor, but how? Sex and the human body are beautiful. I would take it as a personal complement if two million people sat through an hour of drivel just to see my wang. Some also worry that it is women that get exploited - but personally that doesn't affect me being neither a man nor a heterosexual. But the women who are doing this (we are talking TV and film acting - not pornography) would refuse if they felt exploited. Does this use of sex to pump up viewing figures make us see women (or men) as sex objects? Oh, fuck off, of course it doesn't. It might make us see individual actors as sex objects, but ti's their career and if that's what they want to be then fine. If they didn't mean this to happen then obviously they were stupid.

Actually, as I don't practice sexually you might wonder why I am so interested, but the point is: celibate people need things to wank over.

However, there are many examples in the arthouse where the sex is unnecessary - it could be suggested - but why should we just suggest? In directing a film I wouldn't have a suggestion that a man was drinking coffee, I'd show the fucker doing it so why, oh why, oh why, is sex so different?

All these neo-Mary Whitehouses make me very annoyed.

On a lighter noe, I went to IKEA with Ceri today and very pleasant it was - she was delightfully funny as always but I felt I was far too fatigued to have been great company and resorted occassionally to stupidity - and I was sweating far too much. However, I had great fun pretending to be her husband and looking round the little rooms with her. Much scorn was thrown in the direction of lime colour-schemes and I nearly pissed myslef at a rotating hatstand. And I had a fab veggie-hotdog! Pretty good day for Bertie!


The Unbearable Illness of Being

Until this week I had thought that flu was just like a cold but a bit worse. Certainly, that's how it's portrayed in doctors' surgeries with the grouping of the term 'Cold and Flu'. But yet again the GPs (bastards as they are) lied to us.

Sunday night saw the sniffle. I thought 'meh'. After all, it's only a sniffle and I can take it!

Monday night saw the sore throat which is still playing games with me.

Tuesday went bananas and saw me rolling around in bed, delirious, babbling and groaning. I then began thinking I was in Russia and Finland (God knows why).

This morning I felt a little better at about 5a.m. until I made the mistake of flushing the toilet which freaked me out something rotten and reduced me to a feverish delusional mess where I felt like I had tiny, tiny hands. I love surreal but this was taking the piss.

Having spoken to the doctor the real truth of flu was revealed: all of my symptoms were part of the dreaded influenza: fever, confusion, hallucination, diarrhoea, insomnia. And if one more person calls this 'manflu' I will stab them with a bic razor.

I am still feeling warm and trying to keep myself cool so that I don't cook my brain and go waffy again. Also, my sore throat has taken all the pleasure out of smoking and it's a bloody nightmare needing nicotine and then not enjoying it. I always said that I would have to quit the bassoon as it was impairing my ability to smoke, but I just have to wait for the flu to pass - there's nothing I can do about the fucker.

I am a floundering fish on a beach of infirmity.

Worse than that I had arranged a full week of socialising with my closest friends. Ceri was supposed to be coming round on Tuesday night but that has been moved to Thursday (which actually worked out better because then there's a big bunch of us - although I do miss her and an extra two days feels really quite a lifetime) and Kez was supposed to be coming this morning but I had to cancel.

I am feeling considerably better now and am not contagious anymore, therefore I am very much looking forward to an evening of French films and folk with friends, but currently I'm so bored I could piss myself.

I now count down the hours until I can take more pain relief. What I would give for one of Jai's morphines!



I was playing for a wedding today. I hate them, I hate them this much *makes arm gesture so wide his arms fly off and hit Hazel Blears in the fucking face*. To be fair, I got £100 for the wedding today as it was vieo'd (I get double). But the video'er used only a key light without a fill light or back light. Ridiculous! Amateur!

Not only this but then Peter lectured me about smoking.

Bad day.

And I have flu. My face is gushing like a whore's pussy.

Coughs and Sneezes...

Right. let's get this out the way first: coughs and sneezes do not spread diseases. they spread viruses which can then develop into viral diseases. There. Just had to get that out.

Anyway, I am sat at home, dabbing my nose and taking a break from it every five minutes for cigarettes. Mother had flu. Now I have flu. It's the circle of strife. It is too hot outside and my eyes are all watery, and too bright, and inside I cannot smoke. The horror of a day full of nothingness is making me feel quite queer and I think I may stick my dick in the food processor to give myself something to do.

Ceri's lovely little blog has cheered me up no end, though, and I'm very flattered, although at the moment I look like the wrong end of a camel's turd.

I think I might become celibate.


Later... with the Thought Flannel

I don't know what the viewing figures are for the current series of Later... with Jopols Holland, but I am sure that no matter what they are they cannot be high enough. This is a programme that deserves so many viewers it will actually break the beeb.

He has fantastic bands and lots of ecclectic things, with world, arthouse, indie, folk, punk... you name it he's got it. Also the mannerisms of The Great Neckless One are really quite sensual. I'd like to meet up later... with Jools Holland. Okay, maybe that's going a bit far, but really, he's about fifty and looks like a heavy smoker so what's not to like?

Do tune in, if not for your sake then on the principle that a broken beeb means no more license fees!


Carol Ann Duffy named new Laureate

Carol Ann Dyke has been awarded the laureateship, taking over from Andrew Motion. Her poetry is full of dark humour and serious messages and it is apalling. Her imagery is obvious, her wit unsubtle, her messages clock you over the head, her similes seem ill-thought out and unimaginitive. Her sexuality is tedious, her inner conflicts are uninteresting.

Read her poems and compare them to those of Sylvia Plath, W.H.Auden, or the 1989 Laureate Ted Hughes.

Good luck to her: she's going to need it!


Support Our Troops?

Many people disapprove of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The former brought two million people to the streets of London in protest, the consensus was one of an overwhelming majority against. However, we still went to war.

I attended a rally on Wednesday with Doncaster Socialist Worker Party, of which I am a member, and the point was raised that this is a perfect example of how the society in which we live is not a democracy. Of course, we do not live in a democracy. The people have the power to vote, but from the moment a party is elected we lose our voice. In this sense we are undoubtedly disenfranchised.

But we had no interest in these wars. America did. Though, as we are America's lap dog this point seems rather academic.

Most people understand this. I am not excusing our government - I understand completely the devastating nature of capitalism and a government that endorses it. Capitalism leads us to war. Fact. The pursuit of imperialism and profit leads us into a universe of exploitation, of sweatshops, of interminable power over the third world.

The argument is made, however, that we should support our troops, as it is not their war. This argument makes a great deal of sense on the surface. I know that many people fighting in these wars would rather be at home. Also, I grasp quite comfortably the fact that there are those who join the military in ignorance of the brutality of it. If we examine the advertisements for the army, the T.A., the navy, the R.A.F., &c. we discover a very glorified image of war. A sense of achievement is conveyed through words like "courage", "strength", "endurance". Never do they show a person being shot. It is very easy to show 'American good, terrorist bad', but this is not the whole story. I must point out that I do not endorse terrorism in any form, and I cannot sympathise with any person who fights for beliefs based on any sort of fundamentalism.

However, many terrorists are willing to die for a belief, and I respect this. A sense of hopelessness and disenfranchisement can lead people to unspeakable acts. Capitalist societies, it must be said, are not any different: they will kill, and wage war for a belief that they hold to be true.

There are many arguments for supporting our troops. Some are understandable. Most are not.

Anyone who is willing to be trained to kill, to take human life, I cannot condone. It is murder, and it is submission to the "better judgement" of a corrupt government. If we have no troops we have no war.

It is the military that is evil, not the people. The troops are disillusioned. Conned and brainwashed to trust in the powers-that-be. But anyone who would join an armed force (note: "armed" - violence is in the name) is of a nature that is detrimental to society.

However, I mentioned in my last post the Westboro Baptists who picket the funerals of American Soldiers. No, no, no. This is an assault on the living. To bring further grief to a mother who has just lost her son is unforgivable. Also, these right-wing Christians picket because they hate America's deviance from the Bible, and therefore condemn anyone who fights for it.

The troops do not deserve to be condemned, they deserve to be educated about the causes of war. The troops do, however, need to be held accountable for killing.

I say this from the point of view of a Socialist and a pacifist, and it is very simple for an outsider to point out the flaws of a system. It is easier to see the stars when you're out of the city, but the answer is not to move, but to switch off the lights.


My thought flannel today became wetter than I had anticipated

Unfortunately, today's article revolves, yet again, around walking and bicycles.

I was walking to Spar around 3.10 p.m. and two boys rode past me on their bicycles. the one at the front was drinking a pink-coloured fruit juice.

I noticed them. The first boy, upon my looking away, threw his bottle at my face and hit me on the side of the head, soaking my new Tee and making my hair pink and sticky on the left side.

I really do wish him the worst possible life. There is nothing in this world that could happen to him with which I would sypathise. Were he flayed alive I would but raise one eyebrow.

However, considering my acerbic blog attack on a cyclist yesterday, perhaps it was my karma.

(N.B. Karma does not exist.)

Anyway, on a cheerier note, I was thinking about the Westboro Baptist Church, a group of right-wing Christians in America who run the campaign "God Hates Fags". You may have seen Louis Theroux's documentary about the Phelps family (who are members), although it was repeated last night on Dave.

Many of these people argued that anyone who does not obey the Bible word-for-word will go to Hell. Also, they say that America is "doomed" because the (then) president, Dubble-Ya did not obey the Bible word for word. This therefore meant that they believed all American troops were evil for serving such a country and would go to Hell. They called the troops "fags" too.

As if you needed them, I have produced a few arguments against this.

1. God is not real. Hell is not real. (Bit controversial that one, so if you disagree, read on...)
2. The Bible is full of contradictions. it cannot be taught word for word and obeyed in this way as it is impossible.
3. Homosexuality is not a sin. Leviticus may say it is. Leviticus says a lot of crazy things though, mainly about periods and sleeping with your family. I think Mr. Leviticus has a few repressed feelings...
4.Everyone has the right to choose what to believe, including the Westboro Baptists. Nobody has the right to spread hatred, including the Westboro Baptists.
5. Gay people are not "fags" they are gay people.
6. The arguments of the Bible depend too little on empirical evidence and too much on unquantifiable faith.

These people are spreading hatred. People who do this are the only people for whom we can show hate. These people are lunatics. They should not be allowed children and they should not be allowed freedom.

For more cheery blogs keep checking my site!